"I have sucked up the sea like Charybdis and failing other entertainment will spew it three times daily..."

Charybdis was a sea monster in Greek mythology who would swallow huge quantities of water and spew them out again, three times a day, creating whirlpools that were dangerous to sailors. She is described in the Odyssey. See Thomas Bulfinch, The Age of Fable (1913)

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